But I think it's more like a slow agony, a subtle sort of punishment that lets you anticipate every moment of the possibility of it happening. Then altogether, the time allotted, the time wasted, was all been blown to dust. Nothing happened, nothing at all.
'
Wait, I think this is getting far off from what I am supposed to be relenting but I guess this could also play for how I became impatient sometimes. I think we became impatient because we are expecting something. We are waiting for something to happen and when we have been failed, deceived, betrayed, we then had this feeling of disappointment and loss of trust.
The ending thought of that would then be not expecting at all. Which then comes the event of not asking at all.
And it's kind of annoying because you want something but you can't even ask because of the fear that they might take it at a different notion and misinterpret is as you being bitchy and is asking for too much when in fact you haven't asked anything for quite a long time.
(and this signifies for my loss of propriety but this is supposedly me venting.)
But why still ask when they know that it is their obligation? Why do I still need to remind them of things that they've already been doing for a long time. I don't want them to think of me as something that is thinking so almighty that they might end up doing some sort of aversion and make it as my fault when it really isn't.
Other than that, I don't really prefer asking questions at all. Maybe because most people think of me as something that knows a lot and asking a question would then change their image of me. It a bit saddening that when I hate it when someone acts differently to what they really are, I am doing it.
In my case, I try to be helpful with most people, aiding them whenever they need my help. I answer their questions truthfully(except questions that involves with myself) I try to be best to them because the one thing I don't want is them hating me--and I was never really hated by anyone as far as I know aside from my pretty annoying antics. But on the occasional times when I really do ask questions, I receive nothing. Maybe it's because I ask at the wrong time? But if that's the thing, whenever they ask me questions or my help, I do stop everything and does what they needed if I can do it.
It's really annoying at my part. But then if I don't do it, I might be coming off as rude to them. does that mean, it's better for them to be rude to me than me to them? That is some sick move. Maybe it's because I notice more than most people do. That I read between the lines and actions too much. But even so, that doesn't change the fact of their actions.
